Stretching Personal
Resources

Lack of Control

"I just keep hoping that our money is going to hang on and that the house will sell. They say, 'Oh this must cost $100 per month in here!' I just say 'yes'. I know it would kill both of them if they felt they were going to run out of money." (Niece caregiver of two aunts in their nineties in a nursing home.)

"Everytime we have to dip into savings to pay for some of Dad's care, it is a real concern to Mom that eventually she is not going to have anything. We try to reassure her that it will be okay, that we can only take it day by day. I think she feels that she is no longer in control and that she is going to lose her savings. We don't know if Dad's care is going to increase or if he might live to be 102. I say, 'you know Mom, Dad could die tomorrow and we wouldn't have to worry-we just don't know-and we can't sit and worry about the unknown.'" (Daughter of mom (age 75) and dad with dementia in a nursing home.)